Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Kitty Poo Cookies

Om nom nom!


I've had a request for my Kitty Poo Cookie recipe and I really must brag about these; they are by far the best recipe out there.  There are tons of recipes for Kitty Litter Cake and Kitty Poo Cookies, and I've tried a number of them.  The cakes are all made from boring things, only look like kitty litter on top, and use Tootsie Rolls for kitty poo. Tootsie Rolls are a terrible choice for poo because they're so solid and it takes soooo much work to shape them.  There is no way to make them look realistic.  Similarly, you run into two problems with Kitty Poo Cookies.  They either hold their shape and taste terrible or they taste great and flatten out until they no longer look like poo.  My recipe both looks fantastic and tastes good.

Just a note before I give you the recipe.  I've been making these for years and I still have people who won't touch them.  They are VERY realistic so you may want to start with a half batch of cookies until you know how squeamish your friends are.

Kitty Poo Cookies

Ingredients
Cookies:
1 package Oreo cookies
1 8 oz package of plain cream cheese.  I prefer Philly, but I'm a cream cheese snob.
coco powder

Litter:


2 boxes Grape Nuts or similar
blue or green food coloring
1/2 cup water



Accessories
1 small/medium litter pan
1 small but sturdy pooper scooper.  I prefer not to use the cheaper kind, they're harder to clean and don't hold up well.




Preparation
Wash the litter pan and pooper scooper, set aside.
Take about 1 cup of Grape nuts from a box and put it in a bowl.  Mix food coloring into the water until the color is dark, it takes upwards 5 drops.  Pour the water over the Grape Nuts in the bowl and mix until the cereal is coated well with color.  You can add more food coloring at this point if you need to and more water for mixing, you just don't want it to get porridgey.  Spread the colored cereal onto a lined cookie sheet, I've used both foil and parchment paper at various times and it doesn't seem to matter which you use. Set your oven to 350 degrees F and put the cereal in as the oven preheats.  As soon as the oven reaches temperature, turn it off and leave the cereal to dry, stirring occasionally.  You don't have to stir it, you can leave it over night, but then you have to break it into smaller pieces and Grape Nuts are sharp!

Cookies
Allow the cream cheese to soften for at least 30 minutes.  Put the Oreo's into a food processor and grind them up.  Add cream cheese and mix again.  You should have a mixture that looks rather like tar.  Pull out little bits and roll it between your hands to make bumpy log shapes, or any other shape reminiscent of cat poop, then coat the cookie in coco powder and set on a lined cookie sheet.  Do this until all your mixture is used up then cover the cookies with saran wrap and refrigerate for at least an hour.

Mix the colored Grape Nuts with the rest of the two boxes in the litter pan and 'bury' the poo in the cereal.  Set the pooper scooper on top to serve.

As the cookies warm up, the moisture from the cream cheese will soak through the coco powder giving them a mottled look.  They also soften and take on the characteristics of fresh poo, like smearing on the pooper scooper (which is why you want one that cleans easily).

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