Wednesday, October 5, 2011

The Great Sofa Quest

Warning:  Rant Ahead

Why the bloody hell is it so freaking hard to find a decent sofa?  My couch is almost 15 years old and is starting to be a little worse for wear.  Don't get me wrong, I love my living room furniture.  There's a reason I've had it for the last 5 years...well, besides it being free.  I have a house full of wondrous hand me downs that I wouldn't trade for the world.  But, my sofa is rattan and there is only so much abuse something that light can take.  The binding reeds on the coffee table have started breaking off and the poor thing groans whenever people put weight on it.  Even the cross piece, which people insist on putting their feet on, is starting to show some strain.  Mom helped me recover them a while back (read: mostly did herself with my assistance) but the new cushion covers are showing more wear than we expected.  So, I've been looking for a possible replacement or some sturdier fabric to re-recover the thing with.

Finding an affordable sofa that fits my insane criteria is no mean feat.  I'm sure I've mentioned being picky before, and I am.  Very, very picky.  In this case though, it's for good reason.  Actually, it's mostly because of the cats.  For instance, any sofa I get has to be long and wide enough for me to sleep on.  When my parents come to visit they stay in my room and I sleep in the living room.  Now, you might say "why don't you get an air mattress for yourself?" and you would be on to something...except that my cats sleep with me (they pitch a horrendous fit if I'm on the other side of a door from them) and they both are fully clawed.  Since neither of them has the reticence about pawing at me and my bedding that my dearly departed Snowball did anything that can be perforated is out.  Amazingly, that goes for anything made of microfiber as well.  It's really thin, you see, and anyone who has had cats will tell you how couches get used as springboards during a madcap dash around the living room. 

My criteria are pretty simple.  Without going into further depth about why they are my criteria the list is as follows:

Low cost 
Easy to move around
No microfiber
Big enough to sleep on
Not textured on either upholstery or main material
Not huge
Relatively modern design

The only ones that have nothing to do with my beasties are the cost, style, and size.  I'm a tiny person, tall but small, so I don't like feeling like my couch is trying to eat me and I have no intention of going without food to have a fancy sofa.  I'm also a big fan of ultra-modern furniture, if not the price tags that come with it.  

Which gets me back to how devilishly hard it has been for me to find anything that fits my criteria and that I both like and can afford.  The local fabric stores have been letting me down, too.  Their selections of brightly colored outdoor upholstery canvas are sadly lacking and pervaded with pink and orange.  I don't just hate pink, I loathe pink.  Unless it's so bright it makes your eyes hurt and the tone tends toward fuchsia, of course.  Then it's ok. Oh, and I hate orange too.  Passionately.  Small amounts are kinda ok, but anything else is out.  

::sigh:: guess I'll just keep sitting on my couch and dreaming of the furniture I'll probably never be able to have.  Argh.

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